In order for you to bridge the gap of communication within your relationships, you have to be willing to remove the barriers and be the one to take the first step in starting honest conversation. This requires patience and commitment to implementing these suggestions. Below are three ideas and ways to put them into action. Remember, the relationship is what we are attempting to make better. It doesn't happen unless you take the steps to make it happen.
1. Give your full attention to the person:
When engaging in a conversation, focus on the person who is talking and avoid distractions, like the phone. Also, pay attention to your non-verbal cues. Make eye contact, nod and make appropriate facial expressions so the person knows you are listening and they feel heard. Ask them questions and clarify what you are hearing them say. Many times we don't understand what a person is trying to say and we assume. This is a barrier. When you are unsure of what the person is trying to say, let them know. "What I am hearing is... is this what you mean by that?" Sometimes we perceive things differently than they are intended. Ask!!!
2. Create a Safe Space:
Don't come off as being judgmental, criticizing or judging. Instead, create an atmosphere of acceptance and understanding. Let them know they can express themselves freely without negative lash back. Sometimes it takes listening to what someone has to say and letting them speak without responding right away before we hear the "real" issue at hand. Be open and let them talk without assuming what they are trying to say. Even if you don't agree with them, acknowledge their feelings and emotions. This can build trust and will open the conversation more. Let them feel heard and even if you don't agree with them, respect their opinion. When we feel heard, we feel respected.
3. Clarify and Confirm:
To make sure you are both on the same page, ask them open-ended questions that require more than a yes or no answer. They will know you are listening and they will also understand if they are expressing themselves in the way they intended. Repeating what you heard back to them can avoid misunderstandings. Put yourself in their shoes. Try to see things from their perspective. Empathy can bridge gaps in communication and foster a deeper connection. Keep in mind, you are two different people coming from two different places. You also have two different perspectives and the goal is not to be right or wrong, it is to understand. You may not agree on a topic, but when you understand what and why a person feels a certain way, you can meet half way to address the real issue at hand. You will be able to meet half way or adjust something that you weren't aware of. Make sure you are clear on what they are saying and you express clearly what you are saying.
By practicing these strategies in your conversations with those who matter most in your life, you can create more open, honest and meaningful relationships. When you foster mutual understanding, you encourage more open conversation. Sometimes our conversations also plant a seed that may not be accepted at the time, but may grow within the mind of the other person and become a future open conversation. Let things fall where they may. You don't have to see eye to eye on all topics, but you can be open and non-judgmental with those you care about which will bring you closer and create trust. Remember to always treat the other person the way you want to be treated.
From my heart to yours,
Patti
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