What Have I Become ~ Loving Yourself Where You Are — Not Where You Thought You’d Be

Patricia Anglin
3 hours ago
2 min read

February has a way of stirring things up.

While the world talks about love, connection and relationships, many women quietly turn inward and take stock of where they’ve ended up. Not just romantically — but emotionally. Spiritually. Personally.

There comes a moment when a woman looks at her life and feels a quiet distance from herself. Nothing dramatic. Nothing that looks like failure from the outside. Just a gentle ache that asks:

How did I get here… and when did I stop choosing myself?

You may still be doing everything you’re “supposed” to do. Showing up. Holding things together. Loving others well. But inside, there’s a feeling you can’t ignore — a sense that you’ve drifted away from the woman you once knew.

And during a season that celebrates love, that realization can feel even heavier.

Here’s something that doesn’t get said enough:

Loving yourself doesn’t mean loving the life you’ve built.

It means loving the woman who built it — even if she’s tired, uncertain, or disappointed.

Many women reach this place after years of prioritizing everyone else - Relationships. Families. Responsibilities. Being strong became a reflex, not a choice. Over time, without realizing it, self-abandonment quietly took root — not through neglect, but through survival.

This is not a flaw.

This is not failure.

This is what happens when love is given outward without being replenished inward.

The supportively honest truth is this:

You don’t lose yourself because you aren’t worthy of love. You lose yourself because you believed love required self-sacrifice.

And now, you’re being invited to learn a different kind of love.

Self-love isn’t about fixing yourself or pretending you’re fine. It begins with meeting yourself exactly where you are — without judgment, without comparison, without wishing parts of your story away.

Awareness is an act of love.

So is honesty.

So is staying present when it would be easier to turn away.

This part can feel uncomfortable, especially when the world seems to celebrate relationships that look nothing like your own. But discomfort isn’t a sign you’re doing it wrong. It’s often a sign that something inside you is asking to be seen and loved again. If life feels heavy or uncertain right now, you’re not alone. Collective stress, personal loss or simply the weight of unmet expectations can make self-doubt louder. But this is your reminder — love doesn’t start when your life looks different.

It starts when you decide you are worthy of compassion now.

You don’t have to become someone new to be deserving of love.

You don’t have to undo your past.

You don’t have to rush your healing.

You are allowed to love yourself in the middle of the story — even if it isn’t what you imagined.

So if you find yourself asking, What have I become?

Let that question be gentle.